Mishaps of the Magical World
by kusuwa
Summary: a must read for all fans of harry potter MAJOR OOC, hope ya like


This fic is mayjorly OOC I mean DAMN, it was a fun story to write I hope it's fun to read aswell plz review at the end  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xXx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ Mishaps of the Magic World  
  
Magic It exists in a world not so far away. In fact your next-door neighbor might be a wizard, a witch. Your next-door neighbor could even be.me  
  
I'm Harry Potter, probably one of the most famous wizards short of Merlin The great, the powerful, the boy who lived! I alone must be the one to destroy Voldemort, my friends are in danger just by knowing me, the people I love the most are the ones who "he who must not be named" will attack first. It is not safe to love me.  
  
Fames sucks!  
  
Sorry if this is all so confusing, maybe I should start form the beginning. I used to live in a cupboard see..  
  
No, no lets start somewhere else  
  
When I was eleven I was rudely dragged of by this big lovable oaf named Hagrid.  
  
Okay sorry I was just trying to be snooty, like Draco Malfoy. What do you mean u don't know who Malfoy is. Y'know, the silver eyed albino with a crooked nose who takes great pleasure in the fact that he got his growth spurt before me. Don't you watch the movies?  
  
Muggles and their movies, creating true stories and saying they're fantasy.  
  
Don't you realize that J.K Rowling is actually Hermione Granger under an alias. The reason her books take so long to come out is not because of suspense, but because she's locked up in Azkaban for publicizing the wizarding world to muggles.  
  
And the only reason it sells so much I because she put charms on the books that attract non-magic folk.  
  
And the movies and her books got it all wrong, first of all Ron was way smarter than both of us, although I was meant to be the hero, I was the shy timid one and Hermione was the courageous one. We only all became friends in the second year when we had our house mixture mingling parties. That's right we're all from different houses, I'm from Huffelpuff, Ron's in Ravenclaw and Hermione is in Gryffindor.  
  
Draco Malfoy is really a git, and he really is sun deprived. But he wasn't smart, ooh Draco Malfoy was the equivalent of the Neville in the books.  
  
Neville long bottom was a bully, a close friend of mine, but he, Seamus and Dean always stirred up trouble. They're main target were the two crybabies of our year Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.  
  
Colin Creevy is still the picture-taking mongrel that he is but Dennis is totally different really. Dennis hates Colin's pictures and normally steals them and burns them.  
  
One thing Hermione didn't change were Hogwarts greatest pranksters Gred and Feorge. Everything Hermione said about the was true cepting that their was a way to tell them apart. Fred had a small birthmark under his ear.  
  
Serverus Snape, everyones favourite teacher was not as bad as Hermione wrote. Hermy never liked Snape even though the rest of the school did. She made him out to be a git in the book when actually he wasn't. And he did teach defense of the dark arts as well as potions. All those other teachers were his assisters and substitute whenever Snipe was busy with a potion.  
  
Sirius Black is still alive and running from the law. When he fell thought the veil he came out on the other side. Turns out it was a fake veil, the real one is hidden deep down in the department of mysteries. Oh and Sirius did kill all those people, but by accident, see he never had good aim and while trying to kill Peter (that dirty rat!) ended up kill everyone else. The only thing he did to Peter was scrape his pinky finger.  
  
Oh and the lighting bolt scar I have is complete nonsense. Whoever heard of escaping the killing curse with just a tiny little scar? First of when voldie pointed his wand at me it was at my belly not my head and the thing is I have no tummy now well I do but it's fake one and doesn't take that much food at one go, that's why I'm a skinny mell-nurished boy. The Dursley's knew this, that's why the never forced food on me.  
  
Hermione wrote that the Dursleys hated me when they didn't. I like that damn cupboard and I never wanted to be selfish so I asked to do all those chores. They knew that they couldn't say anything about magic so they told everyone I go to that school for bad boys. I love the Dursleys, and they love me.  
  
Oh and another thing Quidditch is defiantly the worst sport ever. I was forced to play seeker because I was the best at it (Cedric Diggory is actually Gryfindor's seeker). I loved to fly I was the fastest and most agile in the air I feel brave. But Quidditch is a scary good for nothing game with metal ball that seek to destroy anything playing on the opposing team.  
  
And this prophecy.. whats that all about. In truth it doesn't say anything about kill or be killed it just says that their will be a final battle which will decide the fate of the world, y'know like in the 3rd matrix, the movie is so cool.  
  
Anyway its visiting hours at Azkaban, I think Hermione's expecting me. Even through all her lies in the books she's still my best friend.  
  
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luved it, hated it tried to burn and stake it tell me in your reviews I know this is just a magnet for flames but I thought it would be fun to read I really luv the books. But u get thinking maybe j.k rowling is really a witch writing a story of her times at school.( I'm crazy) anyway plz review 


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